I'm not a psychologist, and all I had in college was an undergrad class. What I remember best was the section on Elisabeth Kubler Ross, who wrote On Death and Dying. In that book, she laid out a theory of grief, that people handle it by passing through several stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Others have applied these stages to more general situations.
If I were to apply her stages to my situation (not to make it more serious than it really is) I would say I've skipped anger and bargaining, and am currently somewhere between depression and acceptance. Leaning more towards acceptance.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Rainy Bike Ride
Unlike yesterday, this morning was overcast, cool, and drizzly. It took me a few extra minutes to get all my stuff together, and I was about 15 or 20 minutes late - I feel bad about that because the toughest thing about group training events is getting everybody out the door. We met at Bella Botega in Redmond, and by the time we were all ready to roll it was 9:30.
The five of us (Brian, Rod, Eve, Francesca, myself) settled into a nice pace on the Sammamish River Trail. We followed the SRT across the top of Lake Washington, then joined the Burke Gilman trail, and followed it to the University of Washington. From UW, we veered off across the Montlake bridge and through various quiet neighborhood streets, making our way to Leschi park along the lake. So far, the rain was spotty and light - just a few drops here and there, or nothing at all. Still, after riding in the cold we were all looking forward to a coffee stop.
At this point, we had ridden 26.1 miles in about 1 hour 40 minutes. It was great having a warm drink and pastry, but unfortunately, the rain picked up while we were taking a break. Brian didn't have a rain jacket so we crossed the street to visit a triathlon store, Triumph Multisports, where he bought one. We resumed our ride... for about 1 minute, as Eve flatted her rear tire almost immediately.
There isn't much you can do to help someone change a flat on a bike, except hold the bike steady or keep track of small items (valve caps, tools). We all gathered in the entryway of a small grocery store, to get a bit of shelter from the drizzle. Eve changed her tire and had trouble reseating the wheel - it just would not fit back into the dropout properly. All of us looked and took turns checking for anything that would interfere: misaligned brake, skewed fender, chain caught on something, etc. None of us could figure it out, so we went back to Triumph Multisports where the clerk put the bike up on a stand and found the problem - an extra spring on the skewer. These are sometimes added to skewers when you use one in a trainer. Anyway, he was able to seat Eve's rear wheel properly.
I had two layers on, long sleeve jersey and rain jacket, which is usually enough for me. But today, I was feeling a bit cold so I took the opportunity to try on a De Feet bottom layer long sleeve shirt. It felt so good, I didn't take it off - I just handed the clerk the hangar and told him I was already wearing the product! I paid and we once again started up.
We rode along Lakeside Blvd , crossing under I-90, and then climbed Lake Washington Blvd to the top, winding through Colman Park. By now, the rain had picked up to become a cold and steady presence. We rode onto the bike/pedestrian path, and made our way across I-90.
Unfortunately, bike mechanical issues now struck Francesca, as her front tire flatted. Eve and I pulled up next to Francesca and provided moral support (as I mentioned, there isn't much you can do to help, other than keep track of small items), as the rain fell harder and harder. Cars whizzed by just on the other side of the waist-high concrete barrier, so it was loud. Drainage wasn't good so there was a pool of water right next to the wall... but the alternative was leaning up against the open-air grillwork above the lake, and getting splashed by cyclists who would then be forced to steer through the puddles. While we were huddled together, I said "Not to be rude, but I hope this doesn't happen to me!". My attempted humor fell a little flat as we were all shivering. I was really glad I bought that extra layer at the bike shop.
We started pedaling again, and met up with Brian and Rod at a park on Mercer Island. By this time, we had been out for almost four hours. I noticed my toes and fingers were getting a bit numb. This was easy to explain as my gloves were soaked. Eve joked she could milk her fingers for water, and Francesca added she was just wearing her outer gloves for show as they were drenched.
So we continued towards Factoria, through heavier rainfall and large puddles, until we gathered again at the bottom of a long hill climb. We started the climb together, but quickly spread apart. I lost sight of Brian and Rod around a corner, and soon Eve put some distance on me. Not that we were racing or anything, I knew they would wait at the top - I was just wishing that I were up with them, so I'd be done climbing the hill sooner. ;) I glanced to make sure Francesca was there (i.e. no bike trouble) and just kept grinding along, glad my training bike has a triple chainring. I'd glance up the road, glance at the water streaming to the side of the road, glance behind me, just thinking about getting to the top of the hill.
We regrouped again, and wound our way through the neighborhood just west of Lake Sammamish. I've done some runs there, and recognized Weowna park and Phantom Lake. As I whizzed down a nice hill, one that I'm usually running up in the other direction, I realized my fingers were numb. I was having trouble shifting, and with my hands on the brake hoods I couldn't feel the brake levers! We had split into two groups: Brian, Rod, and Eve up ahead; Francesca and I were trailing by a few minutes. We were caught by a light but the other group waited for us at a gas station near Crossroads.
By now we were close to finishing the loop. I was hungry and wanted to eat part of a Clif bar I had in my jersey pocket, but that would have meant stopping for a few minutes to open my rain jacket and get it. Doing that would make everyone wait, or would mean falling behind... and I wasn't sure I could open the wrapper since my fingers were numb. I decided to just grind it out since it wouldn't be too much longer.
We rode along 160th Ave to Bel-Red, where we split: Francesca veered off left up Bel-Red - I assume she parked her car at work - while the rest of us turned right and down the hill. After a nice long coast, the road leveled out and I continued to Marymoor park where I found the others waiting for me. We got back on the SRT and soon enough we were back at Bella Botega.
It was now 3:00 - we had been out for around 5 hours and 30 minutes! According to my stopwatch, the ride time was approximately 3 hours 20 minutes, so we had another 2 hours 10 minutes at the coffee stop and fixing various mechanical issues. Total ride distance was about 47.5 miles.
I was so cold, I had a hard time packing my stuff up because I was shivering constantly. My fingers were so numb I struggled to remove my bike helmet. Heck, just getting my key into the car door was a challenge. In the car, I drank the extra bottle of sports drink I mixed in advance, which helped take the edge off my hunger. Once back home, I jumped into a hot shower and just stood there for 15 minutes, thinking about something to eat.
Francesca called while I was in the shower and left a message: "I bet this ride convinces you to move to Orlando!"
Around mile 32 is the climb in Factoria. Around mile 42 is the nice downhill along Bel-Red.
The five of us (Brian, Rod, Eve, Francesca, myself) settled into a nice pace on the Sammamish River Trail. We followed the SRT across the top of Lake Washington, then joined the Burke Gilman trail, and followed it to the University of Washington. From UW, we veered off across the Montlake bridge and through various quiet neighborhood streets, making our way to Leschi park along the lake. So far, the rain was spotty and light - just a few drops here and there, or nothing at all. Still, after riding in the cold we were all looking forward to a coffee stop.
At this point, we had ridden 26.1 miles in about 1 hour 40 minutes. It was great having a warm drink and pastry, but unfortunately, the rain picked up while we were taking a break. Brian didn't have a rain jacket so we crossed the street to visit a triathlon store, Triumph Multisports, where he bought one. We resumed our ride... for about 1 minute, as Eve flatted her rear tire almost immediately.
There isn't much you can do to help someone change a flat on a bike, except hold the bike steady or keep track of small items (valve caps, tools). We all gathered in the entryway of a small grocery store, to get a bit of shelter from the drizzle. Eve changed her tire and had trouble reseating the wheel - it just would not fit back into the dropout properly. All of us looked and took turns checking for anything that would interfere: misaligned brake, skewed fender, chain caught on something, etc. None of us could figure it out, so we went back to Triumph Multisports where the clerk put the bike up on a stand and found the problem - an extra spring on the skewer. These are sometimes added to skewers when you use one in a trainer. Anyway, he was able to seat Eve's rear wheel properly.
I had two layers on, long sleeve jersey and rain jacket, which is usually enough for me. But today, I was feeling a bit cold so I took the opportunity to try on a De Feet bottom layer long sleeve shirt. It felt so good, I didn't take it off - I just handed the clerk the hangar and told him I was already wearing the product! I paid and we once again started up.
We rode along Lakeside Blvd , crossing under I-90, and then climbed Lake Washington Blvd to the top, winding through Colman Park. By now, the rain had picked up to become a cold and steady presence. We rode onto the bike/pedestrian path, and made our way across I-90.
Unfortunately, bike mechanical issues now struck Francesca, as her front tire flatted. Eve and I pulled up next to Francesca and provided moral support (as I mentioned, there isn't much you can do to help, other than keep track of small items), as the rain fell harder and harder. Cars whizzed by just on the other side of the waist-high concrete barrier, so it was loud. Drainage wasn't good so there was a pool of water right next to the wall... but the alternative was leaning up against the open-air grillwork above the lake, and getting splashed by cyclists who would then be forced to steer through the puddles. While we were huddled together, I said "Not to be rude, but I hope this doesn't happen to me!". My attempted humor fell a little flat as we were all shivering. I was really glad I bought that extra layer at the bike shop.
We started pedaling again, and met up with Brian and Rod at a park on Mercer Island. By this time, we had been out for almost four hours. I noticed my toes and fingers were getting a bit numb. This was easy to explain as my gloves were soaked. Eve joked she could milk her fingers for water, and Francesca added she was just wearing her outer gloves for show as they were drenched.
So we continued towards Factoria, through heavier rainfall and large puddles, until we gathered again at the bottom of a long hill climb. We started the climb together, but quickly spread apart. I lost sight of Brian and Rod around a corner, and soon Eve put some distance on me. Not that we were racing or anything, I knew they would wait at the top - I was just wishing that I were up with them, so I'd be done climbing the hill sooner. ;) I glanced to make sure Francesca was there (i.e. no bike trouble) and just kept grinding along, glad my training bike has a triple chainring. I'd glance up the road, glance at the water streaming to the side of the road, glance behind me, just thinking about getting to the top of the hill.
We regrouped again, and wound our way through the neighborhood just west of Lake Sammamish. I've done some runs there, and recognized Weowna park and Phantom Lake. As I whizzed down a nice hill, one that I'm usually running up in the other direction, I realized my fingers were numb. I was having trouble shifting, and with my hands on the brake hoods I couldn't feel the brake levers! We had split into two groups: Brian, Rod, and Eve up ahead; Francesca and I were trailing by a few minutes. We were caught by a light but the other group waited for us at a gas station near Crossroads.
By now we were close to finishing the loop. I was hungry and wanted to eat part of a Clif bar I had in my jersey pocket, but that would have meant stopping for a few minutes to open my rain jacket and get it. Doing that would make everyone wait, or would mean falling behind... and I wasn't sure I could open the wrapper since my fingers were numb. I decided to just grind it out since it wouldn't be too much longer.
We rode along 160th Ave to Bel-Red, where we split: Francesca veered off left up Bel-Red - I assume she parked her car at work - while the rest of us turned right and down the hill. After a nice long coast, the road leveled out and I continued to Marymoor park where I found the others waiting for me. We got back on the SRT and soon enough we were back at Bella Botega.
It was now 3:00 - we had been out for around 5 hours and 30 minutes! According to my stopwatch, the ride time was approximately 3 hours 20 minutes, so we had another 2 hours 10 minutes at the coffee stop and fixing various mechanical issues. Total ride distance was about 47.5 miles.
I was so cold, I had a hard time packing my stuff up because I was shivering constantly. My fingers were so numb I struggled to remove my bike helmet. Heck, just getting my key into the car door was a challenge. In the car, I drank the extra bottle of sports drink I mixed in advance, which helped take the edge off my hunger. Once back home, I jumped into a hot shower and just stood there for 15 minutes, thinking about something to eat.
Francesca called while I was in the shower and left a message: "I bet this ride convinces you to move to Orlando!"
The Route
Around mile 32 is the climb in Factoria. Around mile 42 is the nice downhill along Bel-Red.
Things To Do
I met my friend Kathy for a run this morning, and we chatted about all sorts of stuff, including what we did and didn't like about this area. After the run, I told her about my relocation dilemma - she pointed out it was coincidental we talked about area likes and dislikes. Like many others, she suggested I make a list of pros and cons. I'll work on that...
Instead, I thought of things I wanted to do in this area, but never did. Maybe I can knock a few out, should I decide to leave.
Instead, I thought of things I wanted to do in this area, but never did. Maybe I can knock a few out, should I decide to leave.
- Whale Watching
Nearby Seattle you can look for orcas. Peak season for orcas is May to September - one company has a handy chart. You can also look for gray whales, from mid-March to mid-April.
- Seattle Underground Tour
The original downtown kept flooding, so the streets were raised. Or, something like that. I'm not sure because I haven't taken the tour yet. ;)
- Sky City Restaurant (Space Needle)
Yes, I've heard the food is way overpriced and mediocre. But, I'd still like to eat there and have the beautiful view. I have been in the Space Needle, but that was before I was a resident! I visited in 1994 and went to the observation deck, and never went back since I moved here.
- Sailing at Green Lake
Green Lake is a small lake, but large enough for small craft (one or two people) sailing. I always wanted to take out one of the boats, but never got around to doing it. This is especially embarrasing as I lived within easy walking distance of Green Lake and the boats for six years.
- Spirit of Washington Dinner Train
This is a cute couples thing to do, so that explains why I never did it. The train also has murder mystery events, magic shows, and other special events.
- Watch Singles and Sleepless in Seattle.
Yes, I've seen both movies, but not while living in the area! I think it would be fun to catch a glimpse of a local site.
- Hike/snowshoe to Camp Muir on Mt. Rainier
Camp Muir is a great place for a summit attempt. I'm not at all interested in doing that, but I would like to hike/snowshoe to the camp and back. I'd prefer to go with an experienced guide, and my friend best suited to this moved away years ago.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Relocation Question Again
Last summer, when I was visiting the Orlando area for work, the subject of relocation arose. It has come up again, in a much more tangible way. In essence, most of my group is facing consolidation with our HQ, which is in Heathrow, a few miles north of Orlando. That of course includes me!
First was an announcement and general meeting. Afterwards, we met individually with a senior level manager and a representative from HR, to discuss any questions. My meeting went well - the HR representative handed me a folder with common information and a letter covering my specifics, which was the relocation offer. Outside of these individual meetings, we all had hushed discussions in the hallway, nobody sure what to think. The news will take a while to settle in.
The relocation package looks pretty comprehensive. What is intimidating is the enormity of moving across the country, should I decide to relocate - details like cancelling utilities, to house hunting in the new location, to backing out of clubs and activities, to making new friends, and so forth.
Another option is to look for another job within the company, and try to remain here in the Seattle area. I'm not sure how easy it would be to stay in this area, as most open positions are actually at company HQ in Mountain View, CA. That would require finding a group willing to let me work at a remote site. Bottom line - finding another job within the company would likely involve a relocation anyway. The last option is to find another job altogether... which I am reluctant to do: I'm not sure how good the job market is, and besides, I do like my job.
I am supposed to go to Whistler this weekend to snowboard/ski with friends, but now I'm thinking I'll just skip it and send them a check to cover my part of the condo rental and food, and veg out instead. I need to contemplate the future. My company wants an answer about relocation in a month, and would like to have the relocation completed in two months. However, I think I could get a few extra weeks leeway on the final move, just because of all the work involved in putting a house on the market. So there is time, but not too much.
First was an announcement and general meeting. Afterwards, we met individually with a senior level manager and a representative from HR, to discuss any questions. My meeting went well - the HR representative handed me a folder with common information and a letter covering my specifics, which was the relocation offer. Outside of these individual meetings, we all had hushed discussions in the hallway, nobody sure what to think. The news will take a while to settle in.
The relocation package looks pretty comprehensive. What is intimidating is the enormity of moving across the country, should I decide to relocate - details like cancelling utilities, to house hunting in the new location, to backing out of clubs and activities, to making new friends, and so forth.
Another option is to look for another job within the company, and try to remain here in the Seattle area. I'm not sure how easy it would be to stay in this area, as most open positions are actually at company HQ in Mountain View, CA. That would require finding a group willing to let me work at a remote site. Bottom line - finding another job within the company would likely involve a relocation anyway. The last option is to find another job altogether... which I am reluctant to do: I'm not sure how good the job market is, and besides, I do like my job.
I am supposed to go to Whistler this weekend to snowboard/ski with friends, but now I'm thinking I'll just skip it and send them a check to cover my part of the condo rental and food, and veg out instead. I need to contemplate the future. My company wants an answer about relocation in a month, and would like to have the relocation completed in two months. However, I think I could get a few extra weeks leeway on the final move, just because of all the work involved in putting a house on the market. So there is time, but not too much.
NZ Dinner
My friends Shaula and Darrin received my postcard my New Zealand, and wanted to meet for dinner and hear about my trip. As it turns out, they are traveling to Australia and wanted to know about the feasibility of squeezing in a week or 10 days in New Zealand.
I told them all about the trip, and I think I did such a good job selling New Zealand, they decided to skip it this year and make a separate trip! They just returned from six months in Europe, and are methodical travellers - they like to have plenty of time to see everything and not feel rushed. They are planning on three weeks to one month in Australia, and were considering shortening that to make time for New Zealand.
But, not any more! I think I convinced them that is wasn't possible to squeeze in Rotorua, Wellington, Queenstown and Milford Sound, Fox and Franz Josef Glacier, in 10 days or less.
I told them all about the trip, and I think I did such a good job selling New Zealand, they decided to skip it this year and make a separate trip! They just returned from six months in Europe, and are methodical travellers - they like to have plenty of time to see everything and not feel rushed. They are planning on three weeks to one month in Australia, and were considering shortening that to make time for New Zealand.
But, not any more! I think I convinced them that is wasn't possible to squeeze in Rotorua, Wellington, Queenstown and Milford Sound, Fox and Franz Josef Glacier, in 10 days or less.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
MSN Search
Today MSN Search debuted. It has been around for several months, in beta, and today it officially went live.
MSN
I thought I'd check MSN out again, by searching for me!
First, it suggested I might be looking for karl barrys... ummm no, not really. After that, for the next few pages, were indeed references to me. A interview puzzle and general brain teaser page. Race results. Comments I've made on other blogs. Posts I made in a cryptography interest group (back when I was a student and apparently had a lot of time). Overall, pretty good, and somewhere around page 3 or 4 the results tail off.
For the heck of it, I tried an image search at MSN on myself, but found nothing.
Google
Next up, I tried good old Google.
First, Google didn't suggest I misspelled anything. So, extra points for them!
Google also nicely found my blogger profile as the first result. Why only the profile and not my blog, I'm not sure, since after all, Google owns Blogspot. More comments on blogs, old crypto stuff, a reference to volunteer editing at VIE (inside a PDF - good search results!), my antenna applet... the results are consistently me until around page 7 or 8. Pretty good!
I also tried an image search. I do have several pictures on various websites, but as far as I know, I haven't done anything in particular to make them extra visible to search engines (as in stuff my name into the picture metadata, etc.)
To my surprise, an image search actually finds one image of me, and my friend Akila, from a visit to the Bay Area I made last year. Akila and I were grad students buddies, and have kept in touch over the years.
Yahoo!
I also tried Yahoo! Search.
This one gets lots of extra points for actually finding my home page as the first result. Granted, there isn't a much there, as I've found maintaining a blog to be more fun. :) Also, my domain is registered through Yahoo! so that might help somehow. More crypto, puzzles, race results, VIE stuff, results inside a PDF. This search finds more blog entries I've made. Yahoo! Search also finds references to me on dotnode.com - dotnode.com is another social networking site, which has a few nice features over Orkut. For example, you automatically get a homepage on dotnode, and Yahoo! Search found references to me in other people friend's lists.
Nothing turned up on the Image Search for me.
Overall, I was quite surprised by the relevancy and quality of the Yahoo! Search results, as far as searching for me. Google and Yahoo! search inside PDF's, while it does not appear that MSN does. I'll keep trying out all these search engines, but right now I think Google and Yahoo have an edge over MSN, in my hugely unscientific analysis of search results for me.
MSN
I thought I'd check MSN out again, by searching for me!
First, it suggested I might be looking for karl barrys... ummm no, not really. After that, for the next few pages, were indeed references to me. A interview puzzle and general brain teaser page. Race results. Comments I've made on other blogs. Posts I made in a cryptography interest group (back when I was a student and apparently had a lot of time). Overall, pretty good, and somewhere around page 3 or 4 the results tail off.
For the heck of it, I tried an image search at MSN on myself, but found nothing.
Next up, I tried good old Google.
First, Google didn't suggest I misspelled anything. So, extra points for them!
Google also nicely found my blogger profile as the first result. Why only the profile and not my blog, I'm not sure, since after all, Google owns Blogspot. More comments on blogs, old crypto stuff, a reference to volunteer editing at VIE (inside a PDF - good search results!), my antenna applet... the results are consistently me until around page 7 or 8. Pretty good!
I also tried an image search. I do have several pictures on various websites, but as far as I know, I haven't done anything in particular to make them extra visible to search engines (as in stuff my name into the picture metadata, etc.)
To my surprise, an image search actually finds one image of me, and my friend Akila, from a visit to the Bay Area I made last year. Akila and I were grad students buddies, and have kept in touch over the years.
Yahoo!
I also tried Yahoo! Search.
This one gets lots of extra points for actually finding my home page as the first result. Granted, there isn't a much there, as I've found maintaining a blog to be more fun. :) Also, my domain is registered through Yahoo! so that might help somehow. More crypto, puzzles, race results, VIE stuff, results inside a PDF. This search finds more blog entries I've made. Yahoo! Search also finds references to me on dotnode.com - dotnode.com is another social networking site, which has a few nice features over Orkut. For example, you automatically get a homepage on dotnode, and Yahoo! Search found references to me in other people friend's lists.
Nothing turned up on the Image Search for me.
Overall, I was quite surprised by the relevancy and quality of the Yahoo! Search results, as far as searching for me. Google and Yahoo! search inside PDF's, while it does not appear that MSN does. I'll keep trying out all these search engines, but right now I think Google and Yahoo have an edge over MSN, in my hugely unscientific analysis of search results for me.
Cell Phone Jamming
My friend Tom invited me over for dinner with his family. Since I'm never one to turn down a dinner invitiation ;) I went, bringing along a pie and some leftover homemade ice cream. As much as I like the ice cream, I also like to share it and not be the only person consuming how ever much I made!
Tom and his family are fans of 24 so we settled in to watch the episode. His daughter Elyse pointed out that CTU should invest some money into cell-phone jamming technology, as part of the plot (in every season so far) involves a mole or double-agent on the inside, who uses their cell phone to call outside with crucial information.
One amusing article I read described a church in Monterrey, Mexico that started to jam cell phones so as to not disturb their services. Certainly the CTU could get a few in and make it harder for the double-agents to do their work!
Tom and his family are fans of 24 so we settled in to watch the episode. His daughter Elyse pointed out that CTU should invest some money into cell-phone jamming technology, as part of the plot (in every season so far) involves a mole or double-agent on the inside, who uses their cell phone to call outside with crucial information.
One amusing article I read described a church in Monterrey, Mexico that started to jam cell phones so as to not disturb their services. Certainly the CTU could get a few in and make it harder for the double-agents to do their work!
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